TBH ... To Be Honest

To be honest ... is something that my daughter says a lot. As does she and her friends. They all share in this post on Instagram and it goes something like this - TBH ... To be honest, you are pretty. TBH, you are funny, TBH, I like your hair. THIS comes from a little bit of boredom at the moment. SO ... when she has posted all that she can post. When she's texted all she can text. And when she's accomplished all of her chores around the house ... it goes back to good old faithful standby - TBH. I believe it starts a fire ... something to say between them. As long as we are being honest, there is something you must know about this blogger. I stand graced. Entirely. Oh yeah, this writer is nothing without Him. I am in no way shape or form -- a shining example of what a good Christian looks like. I am as flawed as they come. And here it comes ... to be honest, had He not NOT pursued me ... well - let's just say - I would still be down in the trenches of the pit - thinking I was home. Up until now, I've always wanted to be the good girl. You know the one that always does the right thing... the one that says the right thing. Well you see, here's the thing. Sometimes I choose flesh because it's easier. Not only is it easier - it's quicker. Anybody? Several years ago - I blogged and I tried so very hard to make every letter, every word, every phrase "glisten" with perfection and purity. And here it comes again ... TBH - life has tossed me around so much the last five years, I'm just really tired of pretending. And ... TBH - I so believe that the LORD was trying to pull every bit of the FAKE I had left in me -- OFF for HIS Purposes. OH yeah, that must have come when I fervently prayed for the LORD to create "more faith" in me. It was during that time I was working through the Beth Moore study of Daniel. Sometimes those prayers carry a lot of weight and they are not necessarily over and done within the hour so we can make it back to the next appointment. Can you identify? Does this hit home with anybody? Let's face it ... the way to GET MORE FAITH - is to endure life altering situations. It's a field trip if you will .... it is a ticket OUT OF THE CLASS ROOM. And so it goes, for the last five years ... we've weathered some storms, to my husband has endured a few bad wrecks with his job, and now we have landed on the other side of all the turmoil. ONLY to be delivered to the next item up for bid. The teenage years. LORD have mercy on me! So today I really want to share something with you. For several years - I was involved in some really wonderful Bible studies. I am such a student at heart ... and not only that, I love being a Word Nerd. It's who I am. It's who God created me TO BE ... Let's face it - if God has planted something on the inside of you, it is by no mistake. And TBH - when He is ready, He will pull it out and reveal it to those He is wanting to bless, draw to Himself, teach, or encourage in ways that we cannot always see. So today I wanted to share something that is as imperfect as the writer's materials you are reading. It is my first public scripture doodle ... or better yet - scripture journal. For many years I have been journaling. For the last couple - I have been practicing these pictures. I've patiently and silently sat back and watched lovingly as my artist friends have posted and shared their work. Each one so eloquent and jaw droppingly beautiful. Each time ... they have ministered to me -- right exactly where I am for the moment. One day I was praying for these abilities. Well as time has gone on ... each time, I'm like "LORD, I would love to be able to do this!" And recently, the LORD responded with - and what are you waiting on? So I began by writing it out. Praying over it. Wanting it. Believing it. After a couple of hours of sitting in a local sandwich shop while waiting on one of my daughter's camps to end, I finished it. To say that I was overjoyed was to put it mildly. So today - I revealed it on Instagram. So far so good.

The thing that I want to point out the most. It isn't that it's the most beautiful piece of artwork. It's not that it's going to win a prize. However ... TBH - it's that I want to accomplish some things that I know God has purposed in my heart. Number one - if my life doesn't reflect the LORD Jesus, then how can I ever be charged with being a Christian? Secondly, my daughter is watching me. I want to plant some deep seeds of faith in her that are real. So real that they will come back throughout every season of her life that will repeatedly nurture her and encourage her walk with the LORD. I may not show her these on a routine basis because I feel like that would be bragful. But my prayer is ... that one day when I walk into the arms of Jesus and she is still on this side of heaven - trying to figure this thing called "life" out ... I hope she will have something that will minister to her. Something to pass along from my generation to hers that says "KEEP GOING" .... "FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH" AND WHATEVER YOU DO.... "FIGHT HARD FOR YOUR FAMILY." This particular verse has become a very favorite of mine. When things were so awful during the losses, I would just cling to it like none other. IF there is nothing else I get right on the face of this earth, I can lay my head down at night and rest in this one. You see, love comes when it is given freely to you. My whole life ... He has been faithful to always be there and always bless me with His love and presence. Today I encourage you to think about what kind of baton you plan to pass to those in your family. A loved one, a parent, a son, a daughter. When I am gone - I want my treasures to be passed on for those the LORD has placed in my life for His Kingdom's Purpose. TBH - God has a purpose for you. Seek Him and He will show you.